Years ago, my good friend, Reed Bird, gave EJ and I this definition of a cow which has stuck with me. And seeing as I'm going to be writing a cow-centric post in the next few minutes, I wanted to share this with you.
Definition of a Cow
A big city school boy describes a cow something like this:
A cow is a completely automatic milk manufacturing machine encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, movable supports, one on each corner.
The front end contains the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as the headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper and foghorn.
At the rear is the dispensing apparatus and an automatic fly swatter.
The central portion houses a hydrochemical conversion plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks connected in series by an intricate network of flexible plumbing. This section also contains the heating plant complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station and main ventilating system. The waste disposal apparatus is located at the rear of this central section.
In brief, the externally visible features are: two lookers, two hookers, four stand-uppers, four hanger-downers and a swishy-wishy.
There is a similar machine known as a bull, which should not be confused with a cow. It produces no milk, but has other interesting uses.
These were taken from September Issue of The 1966 American Red Angus by George Dobesh.
2 comments:
I have thought about what Reed told us many times, thanks for posting the original story. In your other post I did catch, "black cow mates with a white steer." Yes, that is not something ranchers should try to pursue! What was your prof thinking?!?
That wasn't MY prof! That was just some example I found online. Some idiot professor from another school posted their lecture notes. You would think that SOMEONE from the class would have caught that and corrected him before it was posted online. No one from Poly would have made that mistake.
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