They loved my bread!

My in-laws have designated me as the K family roll maker now! It's always nice when people really like your cooking.

By-hand loaf (left) vs. machine loaf (right). I'm excited to be getting rid of my bread machine!

My new-ish hobby is bread making and it's been going pretty well. For years I used a bread machine but right after we got married I got the itch to try it from scratch. I "inherited" my grandma's Kitchenaid mixer so it does all the hard work of mixing and kneading and does a really good job.

Kevin and I like whole wheat bread so that's what I started experimenting with, 100% whole wheat. It sort of stemmed from the fact that I'd like to get more whole grains into my diet, but in an easy, non-complicated, and yummy way. And since I'm never sure if the wheat bread I buy at the store is truly 100% whole wheat I thought I would make my own so I could control what exactly goes into it.

My first try at bread by hand. This is a half-whole wheat, half white flour loaf.

I've never made a terrible loaf but I'm getting better at getting a nicer texture. I still haven't made a good sandwich loaf that holds up as firmly as store bought but it does hold up decently enough and tastes delicious. I also make it into muffins to eat for breakfast while driving to work and Kevin puts them in his lunch for work. (I'd really like to figure out the cost, too...)

My mother-in-law asked me to bring rolls for this Sunday's family dinner (probably thinking I'd just buy them at the store...). So I thought I'd try my hand at white rolls because I remembered how fast the white rolls went at Thanksgiving. (I think my father-in-law made those.) In my bread making research a few months ago I discovered the website for King Arthur Flour that has some awesome looking recipes and good descriptions. Their flour is too expensive so I won't buy it, but I will make their recipes! They're full of tips and then people ask questions and get answers in the comments section which is super helpful.

Parker House Roll

I ended up making Parker House Rolls and they were DEE-Licious! Totally full of butter and white flour, but hey, it was a birthday dinner so it didn't have to be 100% healthy, right? And as soon as my in-laws tasted them they said, "Ok, Amanda, you're now designated as the roll-

maker in the family." Total triumph. They even liked my funky looking (but still yummy) wheat rolls.

Here's the link to the recipe for the Parker House Rolls. The instructions sound confusing, but once you're actually making them it makes sense. Next I think I'm going to make the Herb and Onion rolls (if I can figure out how to make the cloverleaf roll shape...) and possibly the Naan. If I could find a good recipe for sweet Naan, Kevin and I would be in heaven. It's one of our favorite Indian foods.

Herb and Onion cloverleaf roll

On a side note, because we live in the Great American Desert, I have to add anywhere from 5-8 tablespoons of extra water to each recipe. This is where I'm really learning how to judge the right dough texture because it's different with each day's changing humidity (or rather, non-humidity here in Utah...)

Neat-o Nido!

Several years ago I stopped drinking milk. I'm not necessarily allergic to it but it makes me cough, upsets my stomach if I drink it straight, and I just don't like it. (Luckily Kevin isn't a big fan of it, either...we're lucky that way - we like most of the same things. Except for chicken. He prefers chicken over steak, crazy man...) So I don't keep it in the house and just keep small, non-perishable quarts of soy milk for cereal or smoothies.

But soy milk does not make good pancakes or mashed potatoes. Or white sauce. Or really any other recipe that calls for milk. (It doesn't give the right consistency and it turns the food an almost bright yellow...bright yellow mashed potatoes are scary...) But I don't use it fast enough to warrant buying real milk and keeping it in the fridge because it goes sour too quickly. (I've been traumatized by having to take tiny sips of questionable milk since I can't use the smell-test method like normal people. And since I don't like the taste anyway, it always tastes bad to me...)

I eventually got the bright idea to buy dry, powdered milk so I could just mix up a cup at a time when needed. In the baking isle they only sell those unwieldy boxes of non-fat milk and the non-fat variety isn't the greatest for recipes. It works, but usually the flavor isn't very rich and sauces end up being on the thin side.

Somehow I discovered a powdered whole milk called Nido that comes in a canister with a handy plastic lid to seal it. The label is mostly in Spanish but there are instructions in fine print in English (which I thought was pretty funny). AND it gives you the measurements for a single cup of milk. The non-fat dry milk only gave the measurements for a quarter, which is always a pain because then I had to go online to figure out the conversion from quarts to cups, which I never did. (Maybe that was my problem with the thin sauces...I never bothered to get the ratios correct...)

I've been looking everywhere for the past several months since I've been cooking more (but still not enough to buy a container of fresh milk) and could NOT find mi querida Nido. I ran across it recently and giddily purchased a small canister but couldn't find my way back to it until tonight. Funnily enough, it's not with the other dry milk at Walmart but is in the "Hispanic" section with all the rice and beans. I guess powdered milk is more of a Latin thing, culturally, than a "regular" American food? This also probably explains why the label is predominantly Spanish.

Here are some tips to using powdered milk in recipes.

• I used to pre-mix the powder and water, then add it to a recipe. But you can just add the un-mixed water and powder straight to the recipe, then mix the entire recipe together. This saves time and cuts down on extra dirty dishes. (Unless you're making a white sauce, in which case you're supposed to add the milk all at once. Adding powder plus water will probably effect the cooking/thickening of the flour...)
• Warm water mixes better.
• 4 Tablespoons of powder to one cup water makes one cup of milk. 1/4 cup is equivalent to 4 Tablespoons (don't ask me why I can remember THIS conversion...or that a tablespoon is 15 mL...)
• The powder is good for an entire year, so I buy the big 3.52 pound canisters.

Someone at Denny's must have synesthesia!

Synesthesia is "a neurologically based condition in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway."

I have synesthesia, which I'm guessing comes from my brain trying to make up for my anosmia (lack of sense of smell...) and my husband thinks it's hysterical. For example, I don't like the taste of Bing cherries because they're too purpley-roundy. I prefer "low-pitched" flavors such as bacon and spinach over "high-pitched" flavors such as sugar and apple juice.

The number 7 is a chartreuse, weak-willed male that is bullied by a corpulent, over-confident royal purple number 8. Number 3 is pink and associated with the letter K. 2 is a pure, primary blue. 22 is a pretty sky-blue that is graceful and everything a woman should be. 222 is a little heavy set but she still retains some of her natural graces.

There are also hand-motions and sounds that go along with tastes. I once tasted a green smoothie and picked out the flavors: there was a "juuupe" (hand motion swiping just below my waist; deep voice) flavor that must be spinach. Then another "jupe!" (hand motion rounding over my head, high pitched, almost squeaky voice) flavor that could only be lime. Then a final "tst!" (fingers jabbing suddenly forward to make a point) flavor that was most likely ginger.

As the definition above states, these cross-sensory perceptions are totally involuntary. I never make them up consciously, they just come to me when I'm struggling to describe something. They also never change. 7 has always been and will always be chartreuse. But when I use these senses to describe another sensation, it makes sense to me.

However, I just saw a Denny's commercial that made me realize how my seemingly obviously connected sensory descriptions must seem like absolute nonsense (or worse, intentionally made up!) to other people.

What do you think?

Surprises in marriage

I've talked to many people recently that said they learned things about their spouse after they were married that surprised them, usually in a negative way. One woman was so surprised they seperated after 6 months. Another said she wished she'd taken more time to get to know, not her husband, but her prospective in-laws.

K has given me several surprises. Among those? He is such an amazing man. His capacity to love and serve outstrips any of the great people I've ever known. In fact, his amazingness surprises me so often I've stopped being surprised at his capacity to amaze me. I'm still wonderfully surprised every day when he does something so kind or funny or smart. But I've ceased being surprised by the fact that he's capable of surprising me. Now I just sit back and enjoy it instead of being floored by the fact that God must really love me to have given me such a great husband. (I'm running out of synonyms in this post for the word "amazing".)

Having spent the first five months of our courtship 700 miles apart probably taught us good communication skills. Plus he's also skilled at discussing important topics in a peaceful, open way so the fact that he hasn't surprised me doesn't actually surprise me.

I recently gave him a big surprise, however. I dance in my car while driving. He's never witnessed this but I confessed to him last night that I rock out in my car. This confession was extracted after an embarrassing encounter with the father of one of my Sunbeams (one of the 3 year old's I teach at church). I love the annonymity and ability to be completely free and blare my music that my car affords. Unfortunately half our ward lives on our street so the annonymity part is out the window.

I'd post a recent picture of us but, well, neither of us think we're very photogenic. So my camera doesn't get much use. And when I do pull it out, it usually gets filled with pictures of the top/side of my head and him grimacing. (He's 8 inches taller than me and I haven't learned my friend, Lacie's, skill of self-portraiting...)

Essential Components of Faith

Begin thinking of faith in terms of "something to do" rather than something
to "have".

Faith must not be of the kind that sits and holds its hands, but rather the
sort of faith that spurs one on to work tirelessly and relentlessly.

If it makes a man work - and keep on working - it is genuine.

You must act as if you knew your success were already assured or you'll
never make the necessary efforts.... There is nothing mysterious about it. You
don't even have to "feel" faith. If you'll only begin to act "as if," then the
feeling...will come of its own accord.

The man who says he has faith he can do something and then does nothing,
has never known faith for it comes into being only at the point of action.

~Elmer Wheeler, The Wealth Within You, 1955

Happy Valentine's Day!

It starts with this on the front door for him to find when he gets home from work.

I requested that we not do anything for Valentine's day because K already does so many sweet things for me. I don't believe that one day should mean so much and then we forget the important gestures the rest of the year. And I'm not a fan of gifts. I much prefer words, hugs, and acts of service, all of which I am given a life-time supply of daily.

But I couldn't help myself after getting an idea from a friend's blog. There is now an entire pack of heart-shaped sticky notes on the walls of our house.

It also worked out nicely that K went to work at 6:30 pm on the night of the 13th and will come home at 7:15 am on the morning of the 14th. It gave me the two+ hours I needed to put this together.

My entire valentine surprise cost me about $3.50. But took a lot of time, effort, and thought - which are the kind of gifts I prefer anyway.

I should have bought another pack. 150 sticky notes wasn't nearly enough to tell him everything I love about him.

I also saved my list because I think it would be a fun tradition to start. And to see how things change over the years and what will become important then. I know he'll always do things that make it so easy to love him, but I know that as our lives change, the stuff that means the most to me will change. But we'll change and grow together. (That's one of the sticky notes...)

You know you live in Utah when...

I was searching for the website of a local grocery store, Lee's, tonight. As soon as I found the page I realized something was amiss. The front page had a recipe for the Flirtini cocktail. That can't be right, I thought, although I wasn't exactly sure why a cocktail recipe as the main page was odd.

Then I realized - Wait, this is a state where there are more Reckless Driving citations than Drunk Driving citations. (Apparently this ratio is not the norm and other states have higher incidences of Drunk Driving than Reckless Driving...) Sure enough, the website was for a store in Maine.

But this isn't the end of the story. I used to joke with K about the liquor store a couple miles from us that calls itself the State Liquor Store. K would just look at me blankly, wondering why it was funny. My quips would run something like, "What? They think they're the only store that sells liquor here? Is it something like a state mascot, the State Liquor Store?"

I just learned last month that it is indeed a State governed liquor store! Not A store, but THE store. Liquor sales are a state controlled thing here in Utah! You can't buy liquor of any kind anywhere else unless it is beer that is less than 4% alcohol by volume. (This you can buy at grocery and convenience stores...)

From the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control website: "As a control state, Utah believes that moderation can best be achieved by neither promoting nor encouraging the consumption of alcohol, but rather by controlling it." So you won't see any alcohol commercials or buying incentives here!

For more information on the how's and why's (which are pretty darn interesting and a quick read in simple English) see here.

There are apparently 14 or so states that control liquor sales by having a state-run control program. Huhn...

Challenge from a seven year old

My husband's nephew, Z, is a picky eater. He's also still shy around me even though he sees me every week. So I thought I'd kill two birds with one (nasty) stone.

I promised him I would eat something nasty if he tried something he didn't want to try. He smiled and nodded. Then I heard him say, "Mom, do you know where we can buy a ghost pepper?"

Oh dear.

I finally stipulated it couldn't be something that could hurt me. And if it was truly gross (like a bug) he would have to eat an entire serving. He also has to supply the gross thing and his mom and him will also come up with what he has to eat.

I'm praying he makes me eat something simple like dog food or an onion.

What it's like to meet your favorite author...

On Friday, on a last minute whim, I convinced K to make the 70 mile trip to Park City with me after work for a book chat and signing with my favorite author, Shannon Hale. I was sooo excited. I've always wanted to go to one of her events.

We got there 40 minutes early and the bookstore was tiny. There was no conference room or auditorium. There was hardly a children's section and only two rooms. So we sat on the one couch and waited.

When she walked in the room, I started shaking (literally). K told me to go talk to her but I just couldn't. Not until someone asked a question that she didn't know the answer to did I dare speak up. (It was about if the store had any of her other books in...which of course I had scoped out earlier...and oddly enough they didn't have any...)

Over the next 90 minutes, I had a one-on-one audience with my idol. Only two other people stopped to get her to sign their books. And what could I think to talk about? Nothing. We barely even discussed her books! I was so unprepared.

She was awesome. I was not. This is about how it went...

"You can't disappoint a picture!"




Set phasers to "Love Me".

Mystery solved!

Or

"Dad, can I borrow your moose caller?"

Not our home

Remember that we live in a town house that shares walls on either side with the neighbors. It's a very lovely home and I'm very happy with it...except for the sharing walls part.

Our neighbors to the south are two very young boys. They look so young that I almost wonder if they're emancipated minors. I do know they're video game addicts, playing from about 7pm to

8am DAILY. I finally had a talk with them (after one particularly bad middle-of-the-night involving blaring music that ear-plugs just wouldn't mute...), gently asking them to wear head phones if they play video games or listen to music after 10pm. It worked! It's been quiet since

then and I feel like, instead of banging on the wall like I wanted to at 4 in the morning, I taught them how to be good neighbors. Which they have been since.

The neighbors to the north, however, are a different story. They're probably late 20's and have a toddler. I can hear the little girl yelling, "MOM!" from her bedroom after nap time every day. But I think it's cute. I can also hear her little play screams and occasional chatter (if we're in

adjoining rooms) and enjoy that.

One thing that has us stumped, however, is the incessant duck calls we hear coming from their apartment. Yes, I said Duck Calls. Seriously, we hear it for over an hour each day. It would be hilarious if it weren't so constant. Our thoughts travel along lines such as, "That baby must really think that's funny. But don't the adults get bored? Don't their lips get tired?! Can't they find some other way to entertain their daughter? Is she autistic? Is that the only thing that soothes her???"

Then tonight I walked along our shared porch and "happened" to see through a gap in their window blinds. On the TV was a paused video entitled something like "Fowl life..." with a guy in hunting gear demonstrating a duck call. The video was on pause but I could still hear the duck call. So my neighbor must be practicing his duck calls! I've seen him once or twice with hunting waders so he must be teaching himself different duck calls.

It's nice to have the mystery solved. But it's still annoying. Which brings me to my next question: Dad, can I borrow your moose caller? To quote Kasey: "How you yike DAT?!"

And that's all the news from Newlywedsville. We're doing extremely well and are very happy. We're both very thankful to have jobs that keep us busy, even if we only get two weekends a month off together. And we finally got our snow. Two weeks too late to have my first truly white Christmas, but whatever.

Manda had a little lamb...er...car...

Daisy, on one of our many adventures together

On Christmas Eve, we went to the theater to see "Mission Impossible IV" (miss-able, if I do say so myself...). We also happened to be driving in my car. Rather, I was driving my car, K was the passenger, so he assumes no culpability in the following story. (Except for the fact that he is the proud owner of two undamaged elbows...but I get ahead of myself...)

We were in a mild rush as the movie was starting in 5 minutes but we knew there wouldn't be lines so it wasn't panic-time yet. It turns out the showtime we had picked wasn't playing at that theater, but the one directly around the corner. So we rushed back out the doors, still not too worried that we would be late since we had to drive all of 100 yards.

We were happily walking across the large parking lot, hand in hand, when I looked up to notice my car, Daisy, was not in the parking space where I left her. Rather, she was waiting patiently for us in the middle of the road 10 feet behind the parking space, as if to say, "I'm ready for you! Let's go on our next great adventure!"

My first thought (for only a split second) was, "Oh good, we're in a rush so how nice that the car is already pulled out and ready for us to go!"

Then my next immediate thought was, "Oh my gosh! My parking break isn't on and my car is rolling!!!" I started running, screaming, "My car!!!"

Sweet K was bewildered by my panic for quite a while. (It wasn't HIS car after all so he probably wasn't even looking for my silver Saturn.) It took him a moment to realize why his wife was screaming, "My car! My car!" and running away from him.

Luckily Daisy was not still rolling, but gently parked right in the middle of the parking lot road. Luckily I had pulled directly into the parking space so her wheels weren't turned so she just rolled straight back. Luckily she didn't scrape any of the cars as she went on her short, solo jaunt. Luckily her solo jaunt was short enough that she didn't continue to roll back and hit the cars behind her.

Luckily? Pshh. The Lord knows I'm too stupid to survive on my own so he makes up the difference since I really do try my best.

K's elbows play a part somewhat because the emergency break (which is important to engage every time I park since I drive a clutch) is off-center a little and encroaches into the passenger seat arm space. And if I jerk the e-break up without first alerting the passenger, it jams straight into their elbow. So this time I must have waited to engage the break and then forgotten. Usually this forgetting isn't a problem because the car begins to roll right away and I'm still in it with my foot only a fraction of an inch from the foot break.

Later that even, K forgot to lock his side of the car (an easy thing to do when you're used to a car with automatic locks). I asked him if he was really just keeping his door unlocked in case he had to run after my car and pull the e-brake while it was rolling away again. Recreating his own Mission Impossible moment, if you will.

The next day, while we were in his car, we looked up to see a silver Saturn, identical to my car, following us closely on the road. K said, "Oh look, your car decided to follow us again." Aww, how sweet.

Prayers with an anosmic are always interesting!

During family prayer last week:

"Thank you for this beautiful holiday season and that we can enjoy it with all of our senses...er...most of our senses..."

I totally lost it when I heard that. And I still can't stop laughing about it everytime I think about it. I so love that he actually remembers that I can't smell!

We're still here!!!

Don't worry, we're still alive and thriving! I just don't want to leave the fun and bother to write a post. And since I married someone with a much better camera (and eye) I haven't taken any pictures since October. So nothing good to post! Sorry...

Let not your heart be troubled

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27

10-day weather forecast

Nine days, people! 9 days! Single digits! Next week! Close enough to be able to see the day on the 10-day weather forecast! Close enough to be able to say "Next Friday".

Counting down the days

October 1st was a wonderful day for me. It meant that I no longer had to say "next month". Even though 3 weeks was shorter than a month, saying "next month" just made it seem farther away.

And my sister-in-law (with whom we will be sharing our anniversary, which I think it kinda cool) reminded me that I can now start counting down the days (which is exciting and scary all at once...do we have time to finish everything??? Have we forgotten anything???)

But this counting down the days thing presents a problem to my analytical mind. Do I count the day in which I am currently? Do I count the day of the wedding?

For example, since it's currently morning, I still have the whole day to wait through, so I should probably count today. But then do I not count the day of the wedding? Because the day I've been waiting for has arrived? Or do I count it because I really can't stop stressing until we're on the plane and gone and it is a day to be gotten through, however lovely that day will be. I should probably ask K about this...

I think I'm going to count today if it's before 5pm but not count the wedding day. Because that's the day that really matters. It may be somewhat stressful but it really is the day we've been waiting for.

So here's to

18 days!!!!

I need to redefine fun

I found a notepad today that had a list on it from about 2008 (I'm guessing). I'm guessing it was an exercise in finding balance in my life because I had listed the things I needed to do in three categories: Work, School, and Fun.

Yes, Fun was a need because I'm so terrible at taking time to have fun.

Sadly, the things listed under the "Fun" category were:

1. Clean the fish tank
2. laundry
3. vacuum
4. rearrange room

I seriously need to learn how to have good, relaxing fun.

How Mormon is Mitt Romney?

I don't know much about the 2012 presidential race and I know even less about Mitt Romney. But having a Mormon in the white house could be interesting. I ran across this article and highlighted my favorites. And you really probably have to be Mormon to find some of these funny. (All are from independent people on twitter, apparently. And I think it was instigated by some leader saying he didn't think Romney was Mormon enough. Interesting.)

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll make the income tax a flat 10% and collect fast offerings to fund Medicaid.

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll ask the Senate to “sustain” his appointees by manifesting with an upraised hand.

Mitt is so Mormon that his campaign “oppo” team has done all the other candidates’ genealogy.

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll choke up and weep during his inaugural address. And then say, “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.”

Mitt is so Mormon, he will actually hang the Constitution up by a thread, just so he can save it.

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll start the State of the Union with the words: “I wasn’t going to get up, but the Spirit just carried me up here.”

Mitt is so Mormon his campaign biography begins, “I, Willard, having been born of goodly parents.”

Mitt is so Mormon, he will ask members of Congress to go home and pray about his economic plan.

Mitt is so Mormon he’d ask the Elders Quorum to move him into the White House.

Mitt is so Mormon, he asks donors to stack chairs after fundraising dinners.

Mitt is so Mormon that his campaign slogan is “What do you know about Mitt Romney? Would you like to know more?”

Mitt is so Mormon he’d do an ad for the LDS Church: “I’m a husband, father, and leader of the free world. And I’m a Mormon.”

Mitt is so Mormon he isn’t as concerned about getting American youth jobs as he is about getting them married.

Mitt is so Mormon he’ll assign a friend to every new member of Congress.

Mitt is so Mormon that he’ll change the name of “Cabinet Meeting” to “Correlation Meeting.”

Mitt is so Mormon that if he got elected all of the White House Pyrex 9x13 pans would have a piece of masking tape on them with his name written in Sharpie.

Mitt is so Mormon that late last night he snuck out to put 5000 plastic forks in the lawn of Jon Huntsman. And after that, he heart attacked Rick Perry.

Mitt is so Mormon he’d ask the Chief Justice to use a quad at his inauguration.

Mitt is so Mormon, he will add the phrases “every fiber of my being” and “beyond a shadow of a doubt” to the presidential oath of office.

Non-covered services for health insurance

Did I mention I work in the health insurance industry? Here are a few gems that I've learned are not covered by health insurance. (It varies by carrier...but check with your insurance provider before you plan on any of these...)

Felony, Riot, Insurrection

Horseback riding lessons

Illegal Activities (but just selected types of...)

Terrorism or Nuclear Release

War, related services

One plan will pay up to $1,500 for infertility treatments but then won't cover any resulting maternity costs.

Another carrier lists conditions for which you are automatically denied coverage. One such condition? Psycho-sexual killer. And pregnancy.

Things I'm learning about my new state

Zip codes and city names are merely suggestions here. I know 4 towns that share a portion of a zip code. And one location who's address can be listed as being in 3 different towns. Confused? Yeah, me too. (I work in Ogden, South Ogden, and Washington Terrace...all at the same time!)

No CRV!!! Whoo hoo! In California, every time you buy something in a plastic, glass, or aluminum container (water, soda, etc.) you get charged a CRV fee. The idea is that when you take it to a recycling place, you'll get that CRV back. Except recycling is so wide-spread in California that no one bothers to take bottles to a facility, choosing instead to throw them in their recycling bin that gets picked up with the trash. So you never get any of that back, and that really throws off your budgeting when you buy a case of water bottles and, Surprise! There's an additional $2 in CRV fees added.

No one in Northern Utah recycles. It's not available to homes in at least Davis and Weber counties, that I know of. I never considered myself a tree-hugger recycling nut, but throwing away water bottles, the most obvious of recycling items, is hard. I carried around about 10 bottles in my car (making it look like a dumpster) for a couple weeks before I caved and trashed them. Sad.

Fry sauce is awesome.

When purchasing food inside a fast-food restaurant, they ask, "Is this to stay?" It took me almost a month to not have to stop everything, ask them to repeat themselves, and then when I finally actually understood what they were saying, to not burst into giggles. (Thanks, Dad...) For those of you still confused, in California (and everywhere else I've ever been) the question is "Is this for here or to go..."

The verb "to come" is not conjugated the same here as it is everywhere else. When telling a story in the past tense, one must say, "She come back from the store..." Not, "she came back from the store". You might occasionally here the correct conjugation, but the more intense and/or hilarious and/or ridiculous the story is meant to be, the more it is required to say "she come".

Policemen are really nice here. (I got pulled over my first week here because I thought the speed limit was 35 mph but was really 30mph.) They apparently don't ticket as often. Very gracious of them considering my California driver's license and plates. (And I'm being super careful considering those CA plates, because in Washington and Oregon, that's a magnet for tickets, just because.)

Obama is a bad word here. (I work in the health insurance industry and every time I explain an insurance plan quirk I get asked, "Is that because of Obama???" No, it's just because.)

Maternity coverage in the state of Utah is almost non-existent. And no, not because of Obama, but because Utah has the highest birth rate in the nation and the insurance companies can't afford to pay for everyone.

You might get paid a little less here in salary, but everything else is sooo much cheaper you actually end up earning more. (Gas is currently $3.37)

You can buy 85 octane here. And for some unknown reason I'm getting 34-37 mpg in my 11 year old Saturn. Low gas prices and better gas mileage?! Sign me up!

I have a lot of awesome family members in this state.

Sadly, you can't buy good strawberries in this state.

Winco, which carries the Western Family store brand, has almost as good Mint Chip ice cream as Thrifty's does. (Tears of joy on this one...)

Everyone has a "fruit room" and some pretty impressive food storage. I am very inspired, especially since it's common sense stuff you can use every day and rotate into your normal recipes. (The food storage I'd seen before was something you bought and never used...and probably wouldn't know how to use if you had to, making me discouraged.)

When a new person moves into a ward, they announce where they're living. "They just moved in to the old Johnson house." And since wards are no more than a mile across, everyone knows exactly where your address is.

Despite what I thought, temples are NOT located on every street corner. (Chapels are, though.) With the Ogden temple closed, we have to drive to south to Bountiful (40 minutes) or north to Logan (1 hour).

Drivers here are the most impatient, entitled people I've ever experienced. I've only witnessed one flipping-off but there's a LOT of tailing and cutting off. (I'm not the only one saying this...even Utahns say this.)

You always have to dial the area code (801 or 435) with a phone number, no matter if it's local or long distance. 801- used to be for the entire state. But then they introduced the 435 area code which does not coincide with a certain geographic area.

The weather here is AMAZING! I've been told that all this rain is uncommon for this time of year. But man these storms are beautiful! I love Weather with a capital W.

Words are pronounced differently, although I'm not sure how to categorize it. (But this is pretty much true whenever you go to a different geographic location...Washington pronounces "bag" as "baig", etc.) The town of Hooper is pronounced Huper. The "u" is sounded like the "u" in "put". Hurricane (the town) is pronounced "Hurr-ih-ken" with the emphasis on the Hurr. You don't prounounce the "t" in "Layton" either. But this one I already knew (and got praised for, randomly...)

That's it for now (that I can think of). I'll keep you posted!

Misguided bookclubbing?

Last year my friend started a Steinbeck book club. We read one book, Torilla Flat, before I moved and the club dissolved. We had originally planned on "Reading Steinbeck. Eating Steinbeckian food. Going Steinbecky places." When we first started the book, my friend suggested we eat "paisano style". Here was my comment on that:

"You had mentioned eating paisano style after finishing the book. After a bit of reading, I realized this would involve stealing a chicken after sexing up some clueless women and then using what little money we had left to buy a gallon of wine or grappa and getting drunk for a day or two. How 'bout we just eat Mexican style instead?"

I think shortly after I moved (and when the group finished the book) they did indeed simply go out to Mexican food.

Life is good today

"I got my toes in the water, toes in the sand...Life is good today."

This song was on the radio tonight as I was driving home and it pretty much fits the bill. My first day at my new job here in Northern Utah was awesome. The people are great and the lady training me has similar learning styles to me so that's a huge plus.

One of my business associates from my previous company used to call me "Amazing Amanda" because she (and her boss) always knew they could count on me to take care of everything they sent my way. So when my new boss called her for a reference, she told them this. When I arrived this morning there was a sign on the door that said, "Welcome Amazing Amanda!" I was really touched.

And then after work it was still about 95 degrees F so I wanted to go wade in a creek in the shade and green grass somewhere. We found a creek but the water was so cold that it hurt my feet. So I got out after only about 10 seconds. But it felt good for those 10 seconds!

I'm really thankful to have a full-time job again and to enjoy said job. And to be here with friends and family.

Firsts

I like to make sure that I really absorb first time experiences in life. This month has been full of firsts:

1) Moved to Utah this past week to start a new job next week.

2) Encountered my first, wild rattlesnake.

3) Had Indian food for the first time and it was awesome!

4) Slept in a recliner in a hospital room at the bedside of a good friend who was hit by a car yesterday.

I hadn't planned on moving out here to Utah until this weekend, but felt prompted to come earlier. (And was really confused about feeling the need to come early since it didn't make sense.) And now I know why. So I could be here to take care of my friend that has taken care of me countless times before when we both lived in California. She has several broken bones but otherwise will heal.

So here's to many more firsts! May they (mostly) be enjoyable ones!

You can't learn everything from books

Some things, you just have to hear.

I'm listening to an audio-book (so okay, yes, technically still a book...) and I just heard the narrator use the word truculent and was caught in my tracks. I thought, "What did he just say?" And then, "Oh wait, is that how you pronounce that word?"

See, I'd seen it a few times in books before, enough to know that it meant forceful or aggressive. But I thought it was pronounced "tru-sue-lent". Apparently it's pronounced "truck-you-lent". You can listen to it here.

Similarly, I read several of the Harry Potter books before the movies came out. And the boy, Seamus Finnegan, was always called "See-mus" in my head. Until I watched the movie a couple times and realized it's correctly pronounced "Shay-muhs". Huhn.

On a slightly related vein, I have a large vocabulary and can use all the words I know in sentences. But if you ask me to define them, I can't. They mean what they mean and I have a hard time using other words to define them. Because, well, despite the concept of synonyms, most words - in my opinion - do not have exact equals and therefore each has its own perfect situation in which to use it.

But I realized this is because I learned the words mostly by seeing them in use and discovered their meanings through context. And this has created some amusing situations. Well, amusing to me, anyway, when I finally learn the correct definition of a word...no one else has noticed because it all goes on silently in my head. I learned that with a lot of words I understand the general idea, and can use them in the correct context (thanks to rote memorization) but when I look up the actual definition, I'm surprised it's slightly off from what I thought it would be.

I can't give you any explicit examples of this. Just know that I amuse myself by picturing the little girl in my mind, with an overly-large book propped open on her lap, deriving her own meanings based on her limited life experiences.

Although in more recent years I have taken the time to actually look up words as I come across them. And I'm pleased to be seeing results. Occasionally I'll come across a word and now know what it means, but remember the first time I encountered that word and didn't know what it meant. (I used to write the definition of the word in the book and it's fun to re-read a book and realize I now know what that word means.)

It will be amusing to see what my vocabular-gains are in the future because sadly, I'm currently working with a dictionary that broke in half and I can't find the first half of the book. So if my vocabulary seems a bit heavy on words south of "Indonesia" you'll know why. (And yes, I could look it up online, but when I'm in bed reading, I don't want to turn my computer back on just to look up one word. Hence using half a book...)

I'm definitely a nerd...

I'm a nerd. But not the cool kind. (Apparently nerdy has become the new cool?) I realized this recently when a friend and I spent over an hour calculating what our names meant in the hexidecimal system or with different numeral systems (such as base 26, using the alphabet as the positional system).

So I started thinking about what math means in my life. I mean, I spent 2 years of my life, 4 quarters of calculus, 3 quarters of physics, and 2 quarters of Linear Algebra on it. But I can't remember a darn thing about it. I tried to help a pre-calculus student take a simple limit and couldn't remember at all how to do it.

I'm still the queen of basic Algebra and boy do I love Algebra. My heart finds peace in solving algebraic equations, no joke. I feel the world is right and calm in the moments that I'm solving for y. (And despite most Algebra students claiming they'll never use "this stuff" ever again, I use it weekly, if not daily, especially when solving ratios.)

But I can't remember how to solve the Maclaurin series of the cosine of X, which might very well have been my favorite equation of all time. (It finally explained where in the universe those seemingly magical trig table numbers came from...)

But I do remember the ideas and images that all those years of studying math (and science) gave me. (Although I loathe to admit that Chemistry had any lasting effect on me...)

When I think of the Gospel, and eternal progression, and striving for perfection, I immediately see an alternating harmonic series graph in my head. For example, let's say I'm trying to learn to be more forgiving. At first I'm too forgiving and let people step all over me. So I learn from this and try a different way. But I swing too far in the other direction and then am not forgiving

enough. And I learn from this, and swing back towards being too forgiving, but not quite as much as before. And on and on I go until I approach perfection, but never quite reach it in this life.

...where the X-axis is perfection and the Y-axis is level of forgiveness...

Or chemistry. (Shudder...) A friend recently posted a quote and I got to wondering, how much energy does it take to make someone go from annoyed to angry? Because of course I was thinking there was a quantifiable amount, just as there is a quantifiable amount of energy that is required to kick an orbiting electron up from one level to the next.

And who could forget these moments where I understood a child's game using physics?

I don't know what it means or how it helps me, or if it helps at all! But I'm inclined to think that if math is what I use to understand the emotions of life, thank goodness I took so much math because emotions confuse the heck out of me!

It reminds me of Sheldon's "Friendship Algorithm" which actually was very accurate! (And very helpful for Aspies! "Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends!" "Hear him out. If he's really on to something we could open a booth at ComicCon and make a fortune!") See the clip here.

LOA = Least Objectionable Activity

You definitely know you're a nerd, though, when you correct the math in math jokes. The one below just annoys me to bits. HO^3 = Hooo (because the ^3 only cubes the O). If you wanted to get Ho Ho Ho, you should have used parenthesis. (H0)^3 = Ho ho ho.

Donate blood!

In April I donated blood and was determined to be successful this time. (Up until then I've either passed out 50% of the time during the donation or been too anemic to donate...) It's too important and easy of a thing to do to let a little fear stop me from saving someone's life with such little effort on my part.

So I made sure to drink a lot of water for a few days prior to donating and then went with a friend to keep me calm. And I filled the bag in 4 and a half minutes! Wahoo!!!

I just got the following letter from the Red Cross and I thought I'd share it to encourage everyone else to try to donate if they can. (They think it's my first time, so they must not have records from 10 years ago when I donated a couple times in college...)

Thank you for giving blood through the American Red Cross. Your blood donation may have helped save up to three lives.

We'd like you to know that the people you helped save and their families and friends are so grateful for what you've done. People like Molly, 23, who suffers from leukemia and needs frequent transfusions. Or George, father of two teens, whose heart transplant surgery could never have happened without enough available blood.

You really have done something amazing. And now you can do something even more remarkable. Come back, and give blood again. You see, only 30% of first-time blood donors come back to give a second time. We need your help now more than ever. Frequently the blood supply is just 2 days away from running out. And every day in the United States, over 39,000 donations are needed.So we urge you to give regularly.

Has anything else you've done lately made you feel this good? Your current CMV-negative status should make you feel even more special. Cytomegalovirus (CMV) is usually a mild infection that causes no harm in healthy people. However, CMV can cause serious problems for some patients who need blood, particularly low-birth-weight infants and transplant patients. You should feel special that your CMV-negative blood can be provided to these types of patients with less risk.

Why not keep that feeling alive b giving blood again? You can help save the lives of even more people, like Susan, a 4-month-old baby, who already knows the pain of sickle cell disease.

Visit redcrossblood.org or call 1-800-RED CROSS (1-800-733-2767) for more information or to schedule your next donation appointment.

Beware of Pride by Ezra Taft Benson

There are a few talks that the prophets and apostles have given over the years that deserve repeated, diligent study. This talk by President Ezra Taft Benson is one of them. And since I found myself looking it up the other day, I figured it couldn't hurt to re-post it here. Below is the talk, word for word. Or if you'd like a link to the article on LDS.org, here you go!

Beware of Pride

President Ezra Taft Benson

Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 4

My beloved brethren and sisters, I rejoice to be with you in another glorious general conference of the Church. How grateful I am for the love, prayers, and service of the devoted members of the Church throughout the world.

May I commend you faithful Saints who are striving to flood the earth and your lives with the Book of Mormon. Not only must we move forward in a monumental manner more copies of the Book of Mormon, but we must move boldly forward into our own lives and throughout the earth more of its marvelous messages.

This sacred volume was written for us—for our day. Its scriptures are to be likened unto ourselves. (See 1 Ne. 19:23.)

The Doctrine and Covenants tells us that the Book of Mormon is the “record of a fallen people.” (D&C 20:9.) Why did they fall? This is one of the major messages of the Book of Mormon. Mormon gives the answer in the closing chapters of the book in these words: “Behold, the pride of this nation, or the people of the Nephites, hath proven their destruction.” (Moro. 8:27.) And then, lest we miss that momentous Book of Mormon message from that fallen people, the Lord warns us in the Doctrine and Covenants, “Beware of pride, lest ye become as the Nephites of old.” (D&C 38:39.)

I earnestly seek an interest in your faith and prayers as I strive to bring forth light on this Book of Mormon message—the sin of pride. This message has been weighing heavily on my soul for some time. I know the Lord wants this message delivered now.

In the premortal council, it was pride that felled Lucifer, “a son of the morning.” (2 Ne. 24:12–15; see also D&C 76:25–27; Moses 4:3.) At the end of this world, when God cleanses the earth by fire, the proud will be burned as stubble and the meek shall inherit the earth. (See 3 Ne. 12:5, 3 Ne. 25:1; D&C 29:9; JS—H 1:37; Mal. 4:1.)

Three times in the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord uses the phrase “beware of pride,” including a warning to the second elder of the Church, Oliver Cowdery, and to Emma Smith, the wife of the Prophet. (D&C 23:1; see also D&C 25:14; D&C 38:39.)

Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance. (See Mosiah 3:11; 3 Ne. 6:18.) In the scriptures there is no such thing as righteous pride—it is always considered a sin. Therefore, no matter how the world uses the term, we must understand how God uses the term so we can understand the language of holy writ and profit thereby. (See 2 Ne. 4:15; Mosiah 1:3–7; Alma 5:61.)

Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.

The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.

Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of “my will and not thine be done.” As Paul said, they “seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.” (Philip. 2:21.)

Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled. (See Alma 38:12; 3 Ne. 12:30.)

The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. (See Hel. 12:6.) They pit their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowledge, their abilities versus God’s priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works.

Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.

Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. (See Hel. 6:17;D&C 58:41.)

The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)

In the pre-earthly council, Lucifer placed his proposal in competition with the Father’s plan as advocated by Jesus Christ. (See Moses 4:1–3.) He wished to be honored above all others. (See 2 Ne. 24:13.) In short, his prideful desire was to dethrone God. (See D&C 29:36; D&C 76:28.)

The scriptures abound with evidences of the severe consequences of the sin of pride to individuals, groups, cities, and nations. “Pride goeth before destruction.” (Prov. 16:18.) It destroyed the Nephite nation and the city of Sodom. (See Moro. 8:27; Ezek. 16:49–50.)

It was through pride that Christ was crucified. The Pharisees were wroth because Jesus claimed to be the Son of God, which was a threat to their position, and so they plotted His death. (See John 11:53.)

Saul became an enemy to David through pride. He was jealous because the crowds of Israelite women were singing that “Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” (1 Sam. 18:6–8.)

The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. (See D&C 3:6–7; D&C 30:1–2; D&C 60:2.) “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?”

King Noah was about to free the prophet Abinadi, but an appeal to his pride by his wicked priests sent Abinadi to the flames. (See Mosiah 17:11–12.) Herod sorrowed at the request of his wife to behead John the Baptist. But his prideful desire to look good to “them which sat with him at meat” caused him to kill John. (Matt. 14:9; see also Mark 6:26.)

Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. The proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of God.” (John 12:42–43.) Our motives for the things we do are where the sin is manifest. Jesus said He did “always those things” that pleased God. (John 8:29.) Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another?

Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s. Their reward is being a cut above the rest. This is the enmity of pride.

When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod. (See 1 Ne. 8:19–28; 1 Ne. 11:25; 1 Ne. 15:23–24.)

Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. (See 2 Ne. 9:42.) There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.

Disobedience is essentially a prideful power struggle against someone in authority over us. It can be a parent, a priesthood leader, a teacher, or ultimately God. A proud person hates the fact that someone is above him. He thinks this lowers his position.

Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.

Pride results in secret combinations which are built up to get power, gain, and glory of the world. (See Hel. 7:5; Ether 8:9, 16, 22–23; Moses 5:31.) This fruit of the sin of pride, namely secret combinations, brought down both the Jaredite and the Nephite civilizations and has been and will yet be the cause of the fall of many nations. (See Ether 8:18–25.)

Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride.

Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts. The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10; see also Prov. 28:25.)

The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. (See 1 Ne. 16:1–3.) They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.

The proud do not receive counsel or correction easily. (See Prov. 15:10; Amos 5:10.) Defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures. (See Matt. 3:9;John 6:30–59.)

The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.”

If we love God, do His will, and fear His judgment more than men’s, we will have self-esteem.

Pride is a damning sin in the true sense of that word. It limits or stops progression. (See Alma 12:10–11.) The proud are not easily taught. (See 1 Ne. 15:3, 7–11.) They won’t change their minds to accept truths, because to do so implies they have been wrong.

Pride adversely affects all our relationships—our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind. Our degree of pride determines how we treat our God and our brothers and sisters. Christ wants to lift us to where He is. Do we desire to do the same for others?

Pride fades our feelings of sonship to God and brotherhood to man. It separates and divides us by “ranks,” according to our “riches” and our “chances for learning.” (3 Ne. 6:12.) Unity is impossible for a proud people, and unless we are one we are not the Lord’s. (See Mosiah 18:21; D&C 38:27; D&C 105:2–4; Moses 7:18.)

Think of what pride has cost us in the past and what it is now costing us in our own lives, our families, and the Church.

Think of the repentance that could take place with lives changed, marriages preserved, and homes strengthened, if pride did not keep us from confessing our sins and forsaking them. (See D&C 58:43.)

Think of the many who are less active members of the Church because they were offended and their pride will not allow them to forgive or fully sup at the Lord’s table.

Think of the tens of thousands of additional young men and couples who could be on missions except for the pride that keeps them from yielding their hearts unto God. (See Alma 10:6; Hel. 3:34–35.)

Think how temple work would increase if the time spent in this godly service were more important than the many prideful pursuits that compete for our time.

Pride affects all of us at various times and in various degrees. Now you can see why the building in Lehi’s dream that represents the pride of the world was large and spacious and great was the multitude that did enter into it. (See 1 Ne. 8:26, 33; 1 Ne. 11:35–36.)

Pride is the universal sin, the great vice. Yes, pride is the universal sin, the great vice.

The antidote for pride is humility—meekness, submissiveness. (See Alma 7:23.) It is the broken heart and contrite spirit. (See 3 Ne. 9:20; 3 Ne. 12:19; D&C 20:37; D&C 59:8; Ps. 34:18; Isa. 57:15; Isa. 66:2.) As Rudyard Kipling put it so well:

The tumult and the shouting dies;
The captains and the kings depart.
Still stands thine ancient sacrifice,
An humble and a contrite heart.
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget, lest we forget.
(Hymns, 1985, no. 80.)

God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. Alma said, “Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.” (Alma 32:16.)

Let us choose to be humble.

We can choose to humble ourselves by conquering enmity toward our brothers and sisters, esteeming them as ourselves, and lifting them as high or higher than we are. (See D&C 38:24; D&C 81:5; D&C 84:106.)

We can choose to humble ourselves by receiving counsel and chastisement. (See Jacob 4:10; Hel. 15:3; D&C 63:55; D&C 101:4–5; D&C 108:1; D&C 124:61, 84; D&C 136:31; Prov. 9:8.)

We can choose to humble ourselves by forgiving those who have offended us. (See 3 Ne. 13:11, 14; D&C 64:10.)

We can choose to humble ourselves by rendering selfless service. (See Mosiah 2:16–17.)

We can choose to humble ourselves by going on missions and preaching the word that can humble others. (See Alma 4:19; Alma 31:5; Alma 48:20.)

We can choose to humble ourselves by getting to the temple more frequently.

We can choose to humble ourselves by confessing and forsaking our sins and being born of God. (See D&C 58:43; Mosiah 27:25–26; Alma 5:7–14, 49.)

We can choose to humble ourselves by loving God, submitting our will to His, and putting Him first in our lives. (See 3 Ne. 11:11; 3 Ne. 13:33; Moro. 10:32.)

Let us choose to be humble. We can do it. I know we can.

My dear brethren and sisters, we must prepare to redeem Zion. It was essentially the sin of pride that kept us from establishing Zion in the days of the Prophet Joseph Smith. It was the same sin of pride that brought consecration to an end among the Nephites. (See 4 Ne. 1:24–25.)

Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion. I repeat: Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion.

We must cleanse the inner vessel by conquering pride. (See Alma 6:2–4; Matt. 23:25–26.)

We must yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,” put off the prideful “natural man,” become “a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord,” and become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble.” (Mosiah 3:19; see also Alma 13:28.)

That we may do so and go on to fulfill our divine destiny is my fervent prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen